he day begins at home – with a standing shower, wrapped in garbage bags. Deluxe morale booster. At least start the day somewhat fresh, I thought. At 11:30 my brother picks me up, and we drive to the day clinic.
There I wait for two hours. Between the door and the anesthesia comes the usual pre-op questions:
„What is your name? What will be done? Date of birth? Where are we?“
Then comes the first Palexia 50 mg – a slow-release tablet, so the body can start to wind down a bit before the big moment arrives.
Sometime it starts. I lie down on the bed. The nurse – in a good mood, just my humor – wheels me into the preparation room.
Another safety check, another briefing. Then the first infusion arrives. As we chat about the incident, “Wooow” flashes through my mind. It’s my first ever anesthesia, and I never expected it to start this fast. I ask once more: „Will you let me know when it starts?“ – „Of course, put on the mask and take 2–3 deep breaths.“ Done, done.
Aufwachraum.
No funny TikTok video. No hallucinating unicorns.
This hazy high feeling – not my thing at all. The doctor explains the PCA pump (Patient Controlled Analgesia):
NaCl (carrier solution): 36 ml
Fentanyl: 500 mcg / 10 ml
DHBP: 2 mg / 4 ml
Bolus: 20 mcg
Lockout interval: 10 minutes
Daily limit: 300 mcg
I press the button once or twice, and feel it working.
But the effect brings side effects.
Breathing slows, the body feels heavy, nausea increases. Pain-free? Yes. Pleasant? Not really.
I decide: as little of it as possible.
The pharma industry saved me in the short term – I’m still not a fan.
Back on the ward it’s: lie down.
With all the tubes I’m restricted, can’t get up at all – the nurse brings me a bottle to pee in. At first, as a home-peeing guy, I found it awkward – but it’s really amazing. Just lie in bed, do the little business under the covers, press the button and have it taken away – truly premium.
Sleeping is difficult. I’m restless. Time and again I reach for the “sleep button” – sounds fancy, but it’s just the pump.
One press. 1–2 mechanical “Tscht” sounds.
Then: standby mode. Almost like an iPhone.